Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Solitude


For the last 10 days I've had Elke staying and we've had a good time; talking, cooking, hiking, shopping and so on. She came here as a good friend and left as a good friend. Hopefully she'll be able to relax on the long Eastbound flight, as she has some intense days in front of her. She agreed to bring home a bag full of stuff that I brought over here but never use, ahh, and the cooler unit for the Kurt Kinetic, a Marvel Encyclopedia, some books, shoes and... argh, I'm a pretty bad product of consumerism and a hypocritical one as well, but I'll get over it... (Bought "Vineland" by Thomas Pynchon today! That's a challenge) 
When it comes to relationships, I've been pretty disappointed with myself a few times. I'm a guy who's very reluctant to give up freedom and solitude and not willing to make the kind of compromises that a relationship requires. The difference between solitude and loneliness, from my pow, is that solitude is something you choose yourself. Like Thoreau, who set off into the woods, to learn more about himself and life. Loneliness, on the other hand, is often a product of longing for something - maybe something that's eluded you or you've lost. Like friends, family, your girlfriend or just human relationships. The scary thing is that a lot of people are lonely, while being surrounded by people. But being physically close to one another doesn't necessarily mean you're connected to one another. Think of how many people in the cities who have TV or the internet as their primary human connections. I consider myself one of them, thinking that I often need a non socio-demanding time off, as my job requires communicating and facilitating a lot of people everyday. Being a strong believer in "selected memories", I bought the monumental triple recording by The Clash: Sandinista. It brings back very vivid memories from the past and can be as mood enhancing as most drugs, I guess... Remember songs like "Washington Bullets", "Hitsville UK" and "The Call Up". Or the kid (trying to) singing "Guns of Brixton" in the end of "Broadway". What a strange and sublime journey through as different genres as reggae, dub, folk music, punk, political messages and simply joy of playing music! 
Anyway, I've got 36 hrs by myself, before picking up my brother Peter at the airport and I'm gonna enjoy with a nice long bike ride tomorrow morning. 
Todays training was 10km in 41 min., feeling very energetic.  

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